Trivial Matters
by Aries Draco
Summary: Only Saix would consider something like this trivial information... After an accident in the Land of the Dragons, Saix is a little... different. A lot different. But in some ways, she's still the same... *finally updated again!*
1. Lacking

Trivial Matters

Lack of fundamental skills of observation

Xemnas stared at his second-in-command. Saix stared back from across the desk, legs crossed primly as ever. The feeling of _nothingness_ was nearly palpable in the room, if not for the hints of tension in the way Xemnas was tapping the tabletop, and the way that Saix was crossing his arms.

"How long…" began Xemnas, but his second-in-command knew him well enough to answer.

"Since my last mission in the Land of the Dragons."

"Six weeks, then."

Saix nodded and Xemnas considered the consequences of slamming his own head into the white, white walls.

"And you never thought to mention this because…?"

"I discovered that it was not impeding my abilities in any way and felt it unnecessary to burden you with such trivial information," explained the berserker plainly, crossing his arms a little tighter.

Trivial information. Only Saix would consider something like that 'trivial information'. He knew there was a very good reason why Saix was his second-in command. Cold logic.

On one hand, yes, the condition wasn't life-threatening and didn't really seem to have affected the berserker at all. From a purely logical perspective, there wasn't much to fuss about. However, even Nobodies had some expectations and preconceptions, and for some-no-one to just gloss over something like that was inconceivable.

Xemnas tried to go about it logically. "Vexen would have been interested in studying your situation."

"I have no interest in being a subject of such a pointless study." There was almost a touch of defiance in that normally calm voice. "It has nothing to do with our goals."

"It is a condition that managed to affect a Nobody, so it is relevant study," countered Xemnas, not quite looking at his second-in-command anymore.

Saix twitched slightly, lips almost forming a pout before he stilled his features once more. "My apologies, Xemnas," he said shortly. "It did not cross my mind."

The ensuing silence was awkward. Well, as awkward as anything could get between two emotionless creatures. Finally, Xemnas cleared his throat. "I expect a full report of the incident by tomorrow. For now, report to number IV for a full body checkup." He was almost expecting a negative reply, but, then again, this was _Saix_.

The berserker stood, silently excusing himself, a note of displeasure in his yellow eyes. He never liked Vexen and Xemnas knew that. Still, an order was an order, so he left his leader to his thoughts.

Thoughts that went something like: _How did__ he manage to hide __ for six weeks?_


	2. Puppies,

Trivial Matters

The one with the puppies

They were all there when the usually stoic number VII fell ungracefully from his seat onto the floor oh-so far beneath. It provided a fantastic distraction from the never-ending meeting, proving even more fantastic when the meeting was adjourned following certain discoveries. One of said discoveries was that VII was not breathing. The second was that bandages were restricting his breathing. The third and fourth discoveries were current staring Vexen in the face.

Or rather, it should be said, Vexen was currently staring at the third and fourth discoveries. Very intently, as if they held some secret that would unlock the meaning of all existence. He could have stared at them for a long time yet, if not forever, had some-no-one not cleared his throat in an I-will-rip-out-your-spleen-and-feed-it-to-you-very-soon-manner.

"It would appear that they are real," Vexen declared plainly.

"I would have known if they weren't," replied Saix, the promise of pain in his growling voice. "And you didn't need five minutes to tell me that."

"I had to make sure! It's a scientist's job to confirm all observations," countered Vexen confidently. "Now, just remove your clothes and we can proceed with the rest of the examination."

"Remove my _clothes_?"

"Just part… of… standard… pro…" It really was rather uncomfortable, trapped between a sharp blade and a wall. "Number VII, need I remind you that the Superior himself ordered this?"

Pulling rank was always the way to go when dealing with angry berserkers. Visibly deflating at the mention of Xemnas, Saix turned around, tugging at his coat's zip. "Oogle and I'll _forget_ that you're number IV," he hissed, keeping one hand on his claymore.

That was going to be a hard one. After all, the Organization was a bit of a boy's club, with their only female member rather more masculine than some of their number and flat enough to pass. It wasn't often that the opportunity presented itself for them to oogle, especially not at those lovely C-cups.

Averting his eyes quickly, he fumbled for a note book. Getting skewered by an irate berserker rather outweighed any benefits gained from gawking at said berserker.

"So, the transformation was complete?"

"Obviously," came the tense reply.

"I think some measurements are in order. The Superior did say to be thorough."

It really was his lucky day, in spite of having to work with Saix. After all, he wasn't bleeding onto his clean laboratory floor and he had one very naked female on his lab table. Sure, she was hefting a claymore like it weighed nothing and giving him the Glare of Doom, but boy, was she female.


	3. Never Trust

Trivial Matters

Never trust the Chinese

Six weeks. It was all because of that blasted reconnaissance mission to the Land of the Dragons six weeks ago. It had been a simple mission, any one of them could have done it. Only Xigbar had to come back from _his_ trip too drunk from the land's fiery liquor to give any semblance of a coherent report. So it fell to him to sort out a superior's problems. Again. And again.

It wasn't that he had a problem with it. In fact, his performance in the area of disaster management had endeared him greatly to Xemnas, and being one step below the King was not a bad place to be. However, if he had known what was to come to pass, he would have made any excuse not to have gone on that blasted trip.

He had been thorough, checking out the less inhabited areas as well as the main city, seeking signs of strong, corruptible hearts and noting them down methodically. He was just trying to be the best that he could be. Was it his fault that that particular day was particularly hot and humid? Was it _his_ fault that the Organization's uniforms, as lovely as they were, were particularly stifling in hot and humid conditions?

It wasn't his fault that he had to stop to take a drink while exploring the wilderness westward of the main cluster of civilisation. It certainly wasn't his fault that the water was so cool and inviting.

Besides, being female was not a fault, and definitely not his.

It's not to say that he wasn't affected by the sudden change in his body. Six weeks was time enough for him to consult his unfailing _logical_ mind and come to an unbiased conclusion. At that point in time, though…

Well, let's just say that the number of intelligent creatures living in that area experienced a population decrease of about 99.

On hindsight, the natives could probably have provided some insight as to how he could have _reversed_ the bothersome transformation, but there was usually little room for thought when he was in berserker mode.

Which was why he was here, female, sitting naked on Vexen's lab table, trying very, very hard to remember that Xemnas would be upset if they lost a member now.

Six weeks. Six weeks and not a single Nobody noticed. Somehow, Saix felt a little stung by this, as much as a Nobody could feel. He'd tried to downplay the matter, even to himself, so it wasn't as though he tried _too_ hard to hide it. Sure, there was the binding so that he could still fit into his cloak. His voiced changed slightly, but he never spoke much to the others anyway. Growling, he still sounded the same. Of course, his physical abilities were not at all affected, so perhaps that was why no one really noticed.

It certainly wasn't because he wasn't attractive.

If given another moment, Saix would have noted the peculiarity of that particular thought. However, Vexen chose that moment to pull out a measuring tape, and that deserved more attention than any of the _perfectly normal and logical_ thoughts going through his mind.

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A/N: I really appreciate the reviews. I know the chapters are short, but I'm trying to complete each one in one sitting in between the other million and one things I have to do. Treat it like a sort of experiment for me. Heh…

This odd fic spawned from watching the Final Mix+ vids too many times, where I observed that one particular member of OrgXIII had a particularly girly way of sitting and moving. Combine that observation with something half-remembered from a popular Chinese story, the convenient world of Mulan and, presto! Crack of the highest degree.

Er… I do realise the notes are getting long, so I shall be brief. No more notes from me unless absolutely necessary, or if anyone has pressing questions. Expect an update soon (because nothing motivates me better than procrastinating from studying. )


	4. The Blues:

Trivial Matters

The blues in more ways than one

"I thought you would have learnt your lesson after Larxene." The line was delivered without emotion, simply because it was more entertaining to watch a Nobody react to nothing. To his disappointment, his carefully calculated statement was not met with indignant protests.

"It's just a scratch," replied Vexen off-handedly, adding a third layer of bandages to his arm. While they tended to heal quickly, they still bled when cut and the floors were unfortunately white.

"It looks more like he… no, I'm sorry, she tried to debone you before remembering that the Superior still needs you," Zexion pointed out, watching his senior add a fourth layer to the red bandages.

"It's just a flesh wound, nothing serious," insisted Vexen, sounding a little irritated now. Good, even if he _was_ just acting out the memory of an emotion.

Zexion took his role very seriously. As the youngest of the original six, his job was to irritate, annoy and manipulate his seniors into doing things for his benefit. He took to task enthusiastically when he was Ienzo and he didn't see why he had to stop just because he was Zexion. The neophytes, of course, stole some of his thunder, but he could still rub it into Vexen's face that he was younger, prettier and smarter. For old times' sake.

"Besides, Larxene didn't have C-cups."

Unfortunately, being the youngest also meant being subject to endless teasing about his inability to 'score' with girls. Not that it really mattered now, but there were some things you didn't let go off just because they were irrelevant.

"So, you went with your old 'checkup' trick, I presume," commented Zexion casually. "The one where you tell them you're a scientist by profession but a doctor by training, so clothes off, even if it wasn't strictly necessary?"

Vexen very nearly cackled. "Works every time."

"And I suppose at some point in time, you pulled rank and used the Superior's name?"

There were, Zexion mused, many advantages in setting up a situation. You got first pick of position, and that usually meant that you could get others into the position you wanted them to be in. For example, while Vexen was gloating with his back to the door, Zexion could see exactly who it was who was walking by and overhearing the conversation. This gave him time to excuse himself at the precise moment when Vexen realized who was behind him, allowing him both to see that oh-so-amusing expression on Vexen's face and to escape without an implication.

-

Xemnas wasn't aware that they had flag posts. He made a note to keep VII away from VIII in case his trusted second-in-command got too many ideas from the nigh untamable flurry of dancing flames, though he had to admit that this particular idea was innovative, demeaning and painful, all at the same time. Saix alone would have resulted in loss of non-life.

It had been ten minutes since he first noticed Vexen hanging by his underwear on the flag post outside, nine minutes since he'd called some-no-one into his office to deal with it and it would be another half hour before Vexen got rescued. Xigbar was simply laughing too hard.


	5. Fingers

Trivial Matters

There are fingers and there are pointers

He couldn't remember the last time he'd had to have Saix in his office twice in such a short span of time. The berserker seemed almost petulant, and, was that a _pout_? Xemnas blinked. No, just a trick of the light. Probably. Had to be.

It wasn't often he was at a loss for words, but, for the second time that week, he was finding it hard to speak. Finally, Xemnas decided to do it the direct way. "Number IV is doing some important research for me. Research that requires the use of his fingers." Well, as direct as the Superior could get, anyway.

Saix swung his… her legs slightly, exhibiting a touch of defiance in the way her fingers curled. "He has fingers," she stated matter-of-factly.

"All of them, Saix."

Though her face remained expressionless, there was a certain reluctance in her actions as she pulled the bloodied appendage from her pocket and laid it out on the white tabletop. Xemnas wasn't sure what was more disturbing; the fact that she had been keeping it in her pocket or that it looked like it had been forcibly gnawed off in the first place. However, being the Superior meant certain expectations, so he merely put the finger aside and went back to business.

"It will be awhile before Vexen recovers enough to finish running those tests, so, for the time being, I believe a new set of uniform is in order."

"It would not be strictly necessary. I have been functioning just fine in this set," replied Saix, a little perplexed. Of course, a new set would be alright too, but she didn't think it was all that important.

Xemnas glanced downward and gestured to the near obscene amount of cleavage she was showing. Odd, because she was sure she had zipped up all the way. The zip had apparently slipped. But, then again, what was wrong with showing a little cleavage?

Why was she staring down her chest like it contained the answer to the meaning of life? For the first time in a long while, Xemnas felt a flicker of doubt pertaining to the sanity of his chosen second-in-command. Of course, Saix had never been exactly what you would call 'sane', but it seemed to be getting worse. Something had to be done. He needed his capable second-in-command.

"I will be sending someone to investigate the area you were in," he declared, causing Saix to look up questioningly. "Your report mentioned the possibility of environmental factors, so I will require a map of the route you took together with any notable observations."

"I will get to it immediately," came the prompt reply. At least she was still reliable in that aspect.

In fact, if he could just move his eyes away from that damned zip, he would have to admit that Saix was still very much Saix. Same face, same expressions (or lack thereof), same attitude, same actions, almost the same voice, but, somehow, seeing _those_ made the once-terrifying berserker seem less so. Had she... he... always been so feminine in gestures?

A hand came into his field of vision, tugging up the zip.

"If that is all, _Superior_..." came Saix's icy voice.

Xemnas blinked, as if waking from a spell. "Yes. Yes, you are dismissed. I want that map by tonight," he said distractedly, suddenly very interested in the papers on his desk.

Crossing her arms, the Lunar Diviner got up to take her leave. A new uniform was definitely in order.

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A/N: I've decided to try doing daily updates until this fic is done. If you, dear readers, would oblige to update my review page, I might have better luck sticking to this schedule. As music has no meaning without listeners, writing has no meaning without readers. I do hope you are at least a little entertained by this endeavour.


	6. Bite

Trivial Matters

Anatomy of a shark bite

For an organisation to run smoothly and efficiently, the leader had to know the strengths and weaknesses of each of its members, as well as how to best capitalise on said strengths. For example, if he needed something done quietly, he would not send some-no-one like Xaldin or Lexaeus, who were wont to garner unneeded attention by sheer virtue of size. If he needed something done thoroughly, he would definitely not ask for Demyx. In this case, he needed some-no-one non-threatening (well, not _too_ threatening), competent and adept at extracting useful information.

After narrowing down the list, Xemnas was left to ponder his options. In an ideal situation, he would have just sent Saix and have been done with it. It was a wonder how many people could be distracted by that fluffy blue hair. Most would start with the impression that, hey, it's blue, it's fluffy, what harm could it possibly do? Information would flow, and, if the hair didn't do it, the disembowelment usually did. The problem was, Saix had already been there once, and extreme violence just wouldn't cut it twice.

Axel usually did a fine job of finding things out. He had a way with people and a brilliant enough mind to draw the right conclusions. Unfortunately, people had a tendency to die around him, probably because most creatures do expire when engulfed in flames.

Then there was Marluxia, who probably would do a rather decent job. He was prone to missing details, however, even though he got the big picture every single time. For this particular investigation, details were paramount. Besides… if any-no-one were to suffer the same fate as Saix, Xemnas sure as hell didn't want it to be _Marluxia_. He needed to keep a back-up that he could actually look in the face.

That was why Zexion was currently in his office looking through the map. Small, non-threatening, manipulative with powers of illusion to boot. Trained as a scientist, his attention to detail would be useful for this investigative trip. Besides, if he got turned into a girl, probably no one would notice...

Which led to the question of how in the nine hells they managed to miss Saix's transformation. For six whole weeks. It was something he would rather not think about, because it led to images of said diviner, and, more specifically, images of the diviner's divine assets. He did not want to go there. He did not want to start wondering how Zexion would look with... with a chest. Or anyone else, for that matter. However, once he started, he just couldn't get the images out of his head.

Zexion, Marluxia, Axel, Demyx, Xaldin... Xaldin?

Zexion glanced up from the map when he heard Xemnas make a strange, strangled sound.

"Penny for your thoughts?" he asked casually, having an inkling of what could have put that odd look on the Superior's face.

"Trust me, you don't want to know," replied Xemnas. If only there was a way to unsee mental images...

Zexion merely smirked and took his leave.

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A/N: Two little notes. One, if the chapter titles seem to make nearly no sense, it's true: they are perfectly random with the most tangential relations to the chapter. Two, this fic is not going to have pairings. It's going to have male bodies lusting after a female body, but that's it. They're Nobodies, remember?


	7. As Told By

Trivial Matters

Times of the month as told by nobody

Suddenly, everyone seemed to be looking for a chance to spar with the Lunar Diviner. It could be because her scariness factor had dropped in the face of her new gender, or it could be because Xemnas requested that they kept Saix busy, but, if he were to bet on it, he'd say it was that new uniform.

Honestly, they were only C-cups. Granted, it was a staggering improvement over little Larxene, but it was really nothing to lose your mind about. The way they were acting, it was as though they'd never seen a woman. Then again… scientists.

"…can't believe this! Suddenly, he gets special treatment because he's a girl? What the hell am I, then?!"

"One of the boys? Ouch!"

"SAY THAT AGAIN AND I'LL AIM LOWER!"

Children. While Axel picked a kunai out of his abdominal area, Marluxia looked down into the courtyard, ignoring the noise from behind him. The three of them had somehow assembled in that balcony without prior arrangement, but it suited him just fine. Axel and a high-strung Larxene was always entertaining. It was just that the scene below was even more so.

It seemed to be Demyx's turn this time, judging by the bursts of water punctuated by high-pitched squeals. The battle was over within the minute, with Demyx disappearing through a dark portal and Saix throwing down her sword in disgust.

Things weren't getting better for the nocturne, though, since he had the good fortune of re-appearing in front of an irate Larxene. Turning around, Marluxia smirked.

"So, what will it be?" came Larxene's shrill voice. She had backed Demyx into a wall and the poor sod looked as though he was going to piss himself. "I'm the only real woman around here, aren't I?"

"We… well… uh… if he… she… I mean…"

With Demyx, you could almost always forget that he had no heart. The look on his face was priceless.

"WELL?!"

"Ifhewassuchagoodwomanhewouldnthavebeenabletohideitforsixweeks!" squeaked out the sitarist. "So… so, uh, yea. You're, like, very much a girl."

"Hmph."

It was obvious that Larxene had been looking for an excuse to beat someone up, but Demyx seemed to have gotten out of it. Such a lucky, lucky boy.

"Six weeks is a rather long time," mused Axel, looking thoughtful. "How did she deal with all the girl stuff?"

"Girl stuff?" echoed Demyx, looking genuinely puzzled. "I don't think he… she has any. She's still scary and not girly at all…"

It was so adorable he wanted to puke. "I believe Axel was referring to 'that time of the month'," he stated.

"When women bleed out of their '' " added Larxene, cackling sadistically when the sitarist turned several shades of pale.

It was a valid question, though. As stoic as Saix might be, he was by no means unmovable. Unless…

"Larxene can go ask him," said Marluxia calmly. This declaration was met with shocked looks from all around. Electricity began to build up in the vicinity of one Savage Nymph. "You are the only girl, remember? And you can't say that you are not curious; you've had enough trouble dealing with it and you've always been female."

He dodged the flying kunai and thanked the rubber soles of his boots. Anything relating to Larxene's femininity always took awhile to sink in past the initial reflexive response. Sure enough, the look on her face turned from one of anger to one of pleasure.

"The response has got to be worth it."

Now, if she could just tone down on that annoying laughter, she'd be a perfect pet. Growing about three sizes would help too. Demyx looked as if he was going to pass out from the _idea_ of even _talking_ to the Lunar Diviner while Axel looked expectant.

Marluxia let a smile crawl over his face. If he was right, there was a lot more drama to look forward to.


	8. Time:

Trivial Matters

A matter of time or timing

"So, how did you deal with your period?"

Saix paused, not quite believing what she was hearing. She looked over at Larxene, who was leaning not-too-casually against the kitchen table. Even the Savage Nymph had some measure of, if not respect, fear of the Lunar Diviner, that much was certain. _Not enough_, Saix thought privately.

Weighing the pros and cons of answering that trivial question, she continued looking through the freezer, finally emerging triumphantly with a tub of ice-cream. She could also sense that Larxene was about to explode.

"I thought that Nobodies ceased to experience… that kind of bodily function," replied Saix neatly, looking at a point somewhere above the nymph's head as if she couldn't see the blonde at all.

It was behavior like that that made Larxene almost-feel homicidal toward the male gender, so it took a few seconds for her brain to backtrack and analyze the reply. Tempting as it was to call Saix on being a disgusting tranny, there was something about the phrasing...

Then it hit her.

She was about to cackle and broadcast her message when a firm hand clamped over her mouth. Had it been anyone but Marluxia, they probably would have lost a couple of fingers… and their balls. As it was, she was annoyed but curious as he dragged her through a portal.

"What dya do that for?!" she yelled indignantly when they were a safe distance away. "I was going to…!"

"I know."

Larxene stared at the pink-haired man skeptically. Marluxia merely smirked in return.

"It would have drawn a good reaction."

"You, my dear girl, have no foresight." Before Larxene could protest, the Graceful Assassin went on, "Imagine how it would be like if, say, it was Vexen announcing it in front of everyone else?"

The nymph's eyes lit up in understanding while Marluxia's smirk became downright vicious.

"Especially in front of the Superior… how is that for a reaction?"

Once Larxene's ear-splitting cackling had died down, the assassin made to go carry out the plan. He could have spared his ears, but sometimes it was better to appear inclusive, even if it meant enduring some unpleasantness. A look of confusion was crossing Larxene's face now, so he had to entertain the coming question.

"Wait, I didn't even tell you anything…" began the nymph.

"I could guess," replied Marluxia patiently. "Besides, I had my suspicions. I just needed someone to confirm them." Then he was gone in a flurry of petals and darkness.

Vexen was going to have something fun to think about…

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A/N: Mm, so it would appear that this fic isn't too interesting or very funny, judging by the rather lukewarm response. Still, I guess I should try to complete the story soonish, if I don't get completely disinterested…


	9. The Question

Trivial Matters

Begging the question

Vexen was really most amusing when he got caught up in a discovery. For example, it took him a full minute to realize that his coat was on fire, and he didn't even seem to care that Demyx 'accidentally' soaked him from head to toe while trying to put out the fire. At any other time, the neophytes would have been subjected to a long, loud tirade about respecting their elders, but not at the moment.

No, Vexen had more important things on his mind: an important result that he just had to share with the world, and how not to get shredded before he could share it. The solution was, theoretically, simple: keep Saix away from the meeting. It was also completely impossible, barring direct orders from Xemnas, who refused to give such an order _without good reason_.

As if preserving his most dedicated Nobody of science was not reason enough.

In order to preserve his own non-life, Vexen took several measures. First, he prepared a quick escape portal in the meeting room. Second, he made sure that there were going to be more Nobodies than just him, Xemnas and Saix. More targets were always good: gave him a better chance of getting away. Finally, he made sure to situate himself as close to the Superior as possible. Saix would never attack Xemnas, right?

Right?

Right.

Although there was always the issue of hormonal imbalances that could possibly alter behavioral patterns…

No, no, he had to have faith that he was going to make it out alive.

Taking a deep breath, Vexen blinked at his soggy papers _(why was he all wet?)_. No one was paying attention to him, even though this was _his_ meeting. That riled him just a tiny bit before he realized what most of the others were preoccupied with.

Saix was sucking on a popsicle. A melon-flavored, disturbingly phallic popsicle. Upon noticing that the meeting was not going to start, she glanced up to see nearly every Nobody staring at her. It wasn't that strange that she was eating ice-cream, was it? No, it wasn't that. Saix bit down rather viciously and watched the collective cringing with a small amount of satisfaction.

"Now, Vexen, what are your discoveries in relation to the… recent changes experienced by Saix?" said Xemnas briskly, now that the spell was broken.

"She has a fully functional female body. The change goes down to the genetic level," began Vexen, getting into the swing of things. After all, he had forty pages worth of reports to cover.

By page thirty-eight, most of the members were nodding off. It was the perfect time to drop the bombshell.

"Following an anonymous tip-off, I did one final test…"

The word 'final' seemed to rouse the sleepy Organization out of its reverie.

"…and it would seem that Saix is at least 6 weeks pregnant. IfyouneedmeIshallbeinmylab."

It took a moment to sink in, but the silence persisted long after that. Who knew who was the first to start looking back and forth from Saix to Xemnas meaningfully (it was probably Marluxia), but, eventually the whole Organization was doing it. Xemnas had turned about five shades of pale (a commendable feat, all things considered) and Saix…

Saix had her eyes closed, giving the impression of extreme calm. Any-no-one who had known the berserker for any period of time understood this meant she was anything but.

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A/N: Cynicism means you're usually proven right. Heh. Have a cliffhanger (kinda) and a cookie. Or ice cream. Ice cream taste good.


	10. Wouldn't

Trivial Matters

I really wouldn't

"It's a rather unfair bet, don't you think?" mused Axel. "I mean, the father could just mislead the rest of us into betting against him before claiming all the money, and we wouldn't be any the wiser."

"I say the bet is already over. Didn't you see how she tackled him?" Xigbar cocked his guns casually, waving them vaguely in Luxord's direction. "By the way, I believe the payout for the previous bet was one-to-one?"

"There is nothing to suggest that they actually did the dirty," replied Luxord, looking utterly at ease in face of the thinly veiled threat. He could always stop those bullets. Maybe. "That reaction could be interpreted in many ways."

"The previous bet stands unresolved, but with the current bet, it would seem like a double-or-nothing." Lexeaus, restating the matter in an easily understandable way.

"No, not really. I mean, just because they did it, doesn't mean that he _has_ to be the father," Axel pointed out.

Demyx looked utterly lost. Ever since Saix had portaled Xemnas out of the room, most of the guys had started talking and talking and talking about things that he didn't quite understand. It was like some kind of code or something, privy only to those in the know. All he could glean was that munny was involved.

But more than that, why wasn't any-no-one more shocked that Saix was… was pr… was going to have a baby? They just gave the Superior some funny looks and glossed over it. Babies were supposed to be fun, right? But Saix was scary, and… and… maybe he… she would scare the baby and that would be horrible… or the baby might be real scary too, like a Saix Junior. The sitarist's eyes widened at the thought.

"What if the baby crawls into our beds at nights and chews off our faces?" he blurted out suddenly.

The room fell into silence. Then,

"Have you been smoking Marluxia's happy weed again?" asked Xigbar, peering at the musician.

"I resent the implication that I'm growing marijuana," Marluxia shot back testily, calling on his scythe. It was time for the denouement of this particular plot anyway. "And you… don't any of you have anything better to do than make silly bets involving the Superior?" As entertaining as it was, he had to keep his distance. After all, he couldn't be seen as an idiot if he wanted to be promoted.

"They're making bets on the Superior?"

Was it stupidity or naivety? "There are, in fact, several running bets," stated Marluxia, staring right at Demyx, causing the musician to squirm as if he'd done something wrong. "These idiots are currently starting a new one, based on the identity of the baby's father."

"But that's to do with Saix, right? What has it got to do with the Supe…"

It was definitely satisfying, watching innocence crumble.


	11. Offend:

Trivial Matters

'A' word that could offend

It had been one week since he found out that his second-in-command had become female. That came close to stopping his non-existent heart. It was ten minutes since he found out that his second-in-command was _pregnant_. He was sure his non-heart skipped a beat then, because that had to be what a heart-attack felt like. It wasn't. He didn't know what true shock was until his female, pregnant, second-in-command tackled him with tears in her eyes, and relocated the both of them into a private place.

One part of his mind was idly wondering about Nobody physiology. He had put forth a thesis that Nobodies would be unable to bear children, since beings-that-are-not are not logically capable of creating beings-that-are, i.e. babies. On the other hand, all the equipment was there and in good running condition, so there should be no reason why baby Nobodies could not be produced. It was all very complicated, as all matters of the heart were, and Saix would make a good subject to study.

Another part of his mind was processing those _looks_ he had gotten just before he was forcibly removed from the meeting room. Surely none of them believed that he would have f… have had s… would have had carnal relations with his _second_-_in_-_command_? He didn't even find out until a week ago...

Which just begged the question, who had _dared_ sleep with _Saix_?

…and did he manage to make it out intact and functional?

"There, there," offered Xemnas lamely. He'd never had to comfort a woman before. Actually… "You don't really have any emotions, so pull yourself together and stop delving into your memories."

Saix paused. She wiped the tears away from her face in silence. "Of course," she said quietly, lacing her fingers together. Taking a deep breath, and stilling her trembling hands, she looked up at the Superior. "My apologies."

Perhaps knowledge had a tendency to alter perceptions. After all, Xemnas couldn't remember Saix ever looking so _pretty_ and _vulnerable_. Logically, he knew that nothing had changed between ten minutes ago and now: nothing could have changed. Logically. Then again, logically, people, even Nobodies, could not possibly experience a change in gender, not that completely.

"I shall get rid of it as soon as possible…"

"What?"

"The child," replied Saix calmly. "I will kill it."

Xemnas was dumbstruck for a moment. Then again, this was _Saix_. She was probably worried about the baby getting in the way of her missions. "That will not be necessary," he said finally. "This would be a unique opportunity to study…"

"It needs to die, Xemnas."

There was a surprising amount of conviction in that trembling (_trembling?!_) voice. Xemnas frowned. Was his second-in-command actually contradicting him?

"It would be an important study in understanding more about Nobodies."

"I didn't join you to become the subject of a study."

What was this defiance? "This is an order," stated Xemnas curtly, hiding his growing sense of alarm. "You are not to engage in any behavior that would harm the child, and you will be subject to studies regarding its development."

Saix almost looked like she was going to disagree again. Instead, she simply gave Xemnas a cold look before vanishing through a portal.

This study had better be worth it. It cost him his second-in-command… at least there was still Marluxia…

Damn.

He forgot to ask about the father.

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A/N: Interesting thing. One of my friends, after reading this fic, pointed me to a certain artwork depicting Saix as a woman. An evil queen to be precise. And damn, he… er… she's hot.

http(colon)//mandachan(dot)deviantart(dot)com/art/S-W-XIII-63327784

Hope the link works…


	12. Using your brain

Trivial Matters

Using your brain burns calories too

The Land of the Dragons was a rather enjoyable place to visit. The wine was good, the food was good, the eyecandy was good… generally. Because he'd had the misfortune of getting an eyeful of a hairy asshole (in the most literal sense of the word) due to the lack of public toilets. Otherwise, it was a welcome change from the empty streets of the World that Never Was.

He was there on orders, of course, but Xemnas hadn't bothered to set a time frame. Being the master manipulator he was, he quickly let that fact slip to the rest of the Organization, casually remarking that he had to return with a cure. The faster he got back, the less time they had to admire Saix's new assets. Needless to say, he received enough bribe munny for a month-long vacation.

It wasn't as though he was neglecting his mission, Zexion mused as he sipped on some premium white tea. He'd followed the route on the map and dutifully checked up everything along it, starting from the very beginning. Xemnas said to be thorough, after all. What did it matter that he suspected that anything that could have caused the gender change would have been near the end of the route? He was just doing his job.

After discovering the source of the gender alteration, it was only natural for him to remain to observe the various properties, right? The (now very few) locals weren't exactly the most trusting of people, which wasn't too surprising, considering what Saix did the last time he was here. That was why he needed to stay a little longer, to gain their trust and to extract useful information. He certainly wasn't just slacking off, no matter how it looked.

Reclining in the hot spring, Zexion stared up at the cloudless blue sky and wondered if those idiots back home had discovered _it_ yet. Probably. It was unfortunate that he wasn't there to see it, but he could just about imagine the reactions.

Firstly, there would be the shock. Come on, the very idea of _Saix_ having sex with _anyone_ was just ludicrous. Then, there would be the speculation, followed immediately by the betting. Xemnas would probably be the favourite, but, of course, they didn't know what he knew.

The ink was probably dry. Getting up and stretching, Zexion grabbed a towel and returned to the luxurious suite he'd chosen for accommodation. Written neatly on a sheet of rice paper was his contribution to the bet. This, he sealed into an envelope. On another sheet of paper was written strict instructions on how much his bet was to be and when they were allowed to open the envelope containing the name, though he fully expected that no one would care. Finally, he dropped the note and the envelope into another envelope, then summoned a Dusk.

"Deliver this to Number X," he told it. "Make sure it gets there alright."

The white creature did a little dance before disappearing through a portal. Zexion stepped back outside to claim his tea before getting dressed. There were things to do, sights to see and munny to spend. There was always munny for him to spend.

-

Luxord stared at the piece of paper, perplexed. Well, if Zexion insisted… five thousand munny meant a huge potential gain. Even if it didn't really make sense to him, he'd allow it.

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A/N: So, who is the baby's father? It's the name written on Zexion's piece of paper. XD Feel free to speculate but let me give you some hints:

The Land of the Dragons is important.

The direction that Saix was heading while there is important. (refer to chap. 3)

There is a very famous Chinese story relating to that direction, and this fic was partly inspired by a certain part of it.

Happy guessing! (And don't whack me if you don't like the answer. D8)


	13. The Man

Trivial Matters

The Man always wins. Always.

Saix gazed up at the heart-shaped outline in the sky. It was going to become a moon… they were going to get their hearts back… and then what? She would be a woman! For the moment, she could ignore it, since there were more important things to consider, but after things got better? What would she do then?

But all that was in the future. For the moment, she just had to find a way to not go mad. She could already see what the next few months had in store for her. She would be confined, she would be subject to tests, she would have to feel that thing growing inside her, she would be kept from battle, she would be kept in the labs, she would…

…go mad.

Sitting on the highest balcony, Saix considered the consequences of throwing herself off.

"Up here looking for the moon?"

Instinct brought the claymore into her hand as she spun to face the voice. Upon seeing who it was (or wasn't: Nobody-related grammar kills), she lowered the weapon, putting one hand on her hip. "No," she replied curtly. "I know it's not ready yet."

"Thinking up of baby names then?"

Saix threw her claymore at the Nobody, but he merely caught it with a gust of wind and sent it crashing to the ground. Ordinarily, she wouldn't have reacted. She would have respected the ranks and gone off to simmer alone, but this, this was a bit much.

"Don't even imply that I would want to bring a child into the world," she stated coldly, fingers digging into her palms. "I want it dead. However, the Superior has other ideas."

"A plan to study Nobody physiology?" Ordinarily, he would have reacted by skewering the disrespectful bastard, but this was _Saix_, one of the most loyal and competent of the neophytes. His… her actions were dictated only by her loyalty to the cause, so it was forgivable. Because this particular idea was… "A ridiculous waste of time."

Saix looked startled. After her brain caught up with her body, she was fully expecting to be dodging flying lances. Instead, here was Xaldin agreeing with her.

The Whirlwind Lancer crossed his arms and stared at her. "Our objective is to get our hearts back. It was for that objective that we have been amassing members. To put one capable member out of commission just to study the breeding properties of non-existent beings is ludicrous."

Explained that way, it made a lot of sense. "So… you'll talk to Xemnas?" asked Saix a little hopefully, bending forward slightly and clasping her hands behind her back.

"Do you really think he'll listen to anyone?"

Well, there was another dead end. A superior had just agreed with her, but even then, it was no use. Xemnas was THE Superior, and there was nothing any-no-one could do.

"However…"

There was something about the way Xaldin spoke that made Saix look up.

"…I don't think he can blame anyone for an accident… "

A light bulb lit up somewhere in Saix's brain. Of course. An accident.

"I do believe there is a Heartless disturbance way out over in that sector. Care to join me?"

It was probably one of the most ridiculous pick-up strategies, but it seemed that Saix was falling for it hook, line, and sinker. The best part about fighting with projectiles, Xaldin mused, was that he could be standing anywhere and he'd still be as deadly. That gave him the perfect opportunity to watch Saix cheerfully _bouncing_ around the killzone. Ah, those beautiful bouncing…

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A/N: A little angsty here, but I think it's justified.

Regarding the father... oh, no... all those guesses... I'm guessing you'd slaughter me when you find out the answer because it's...

...ah, I'd better not say. Patience, lovelies, just a couple more chapters...


	14. Complement to

Trivial Matters

A complement to sea salt: Fish

Demyx nearly jumped out of his skin when a certain blue-haired diviner appeared behind him and brushed past. He managed to make it behind the counter before he realized that Saix was _not_ after him, as strange as the idea was. The berserker was rummaging through the freezer, before pausing, pulling something out. The confused look on her face was absolutely adorable.

"They put fish in ice cream?" she mumbled to herself.

"They're chocolate fish," Demyx supplied, for the first time not scared to death of the berserker. It was a little hard to be scared of someone marveling at a small carton of ice-cream. However, he regretted his decision as soon as those golden eyes swung around to face him. Saix had obviously failed to notice him and it was never, ever a good idea to startle Saix. "They… They're fish-shaped chocolates that they put into the ice-cream because it was it looks funny, but they taste really good because they're crunchy and sweet and…" he was rambling, barely coherent, wondering how quickly he could run away and what would be the consequences if he did.

Death would be kinder.

When the killing blow didn't land, Demyx chanced a glance at the berserker, silently thanking every god whose name he had ever overheard. Saix was eating the ice-cream like a broken man nursing his mug of cheap beer. Only, ice-cream tasted so much better than beer that he couldn't understand why Saix would look so unhappy. Then again, this was _Saix_.

But Saix was a girl now, and all girls liked chocolate, right? Demyx shuddered slightly, reminded of that incident with Larxene and the chocolate fountain. It was really scary to be caught between the two, but chocolate was, like, some magic drug that made girls happy. So Saix should be happy now…?

Nervously, Demyx fought the urge to duck under the counter. "S… so, is it good?" he ventured, ready to bolt in a moment.

Saix looked up at him. She had forgotten about him. Again. If he wasn't so terrified, he might have thought to 'feel' a little hurt. Really, was his value to the Organization so negligible that people could forget that he existed? It was almost like he was some throwaway character inserted to make up the numbers.

"…yes."

She didn't look like the chocolate was making her happy. Demyx wracked his brain, trying to think up of something that was potent enough to negate the effect of chocolate (though he probably didn't use such big words in his head). Was it… hm… was it because of the baby? Was it because of the _father_ of the baby? Demyx squirmed a little at the thought. He still couldn't believe that the guys had been betting on the Superior and… urgh.

Saix was giving him an odd look now, a look that wasn't unfamiliar to him. He got it every once in awhile, when they were forced to spar and he made mistakes like creating bubbles of water instead of useful projectiles. It was usually the prelude to him getting well and truly trashed by a very bored berserker, though it seemed Saix always made it a point not to hurt him _too_ much.

"I… I was just thinking," he managed to get out, gripping the counter for support. "You look kinda upset, so it's good that the ice cream is good. It's mine, actually, but you can have it, no problems! I'll just go get some more the next time I get sent out on a mission…"

"Thank you."

Did she… did _Saix_ just… thank him? And was she _smiling_ at him? In a non-mocking fashion?

"It's no problem, really! I mean, I figured, you must be worrying about the baby, or the daddy, coz everyone's wondering who…"

He cut himself off when he felt the temperature in the room drop several degrees and with Vexen nowhere in sight. See, this was how he developed his instincts. It all came from babbling like a brook.

The ice cream was set aside, forgotten, as Saix advanced on him.

"Try to run and I will hunt you down personally and rip you limb from limb," she promised when she noticed the darkness gathering around his hands. Demyx stopped immediately, raising both hands with a squeak.

"Now, explain what you meant by that last statement of yours. 'Everyone's wondering'?"


End file.
